Why should newlyweds live separately from their parents after marriage? A psychologist explains!
Recently, relationship counselor and author Ajay K Pandey shared some important tips on his Instagram post to help keep married life running smoothly.
A psychologist's advice that newlyweds should live separately, rather than living with their parents, for at least the first five years of marriage has sparked a huge debate on social media.
Although the line 'happy wife, happy life' is used sarcastically, it also hides an important truth. Recently, relationship counselor and author Ajay K Pandey shared some important tips on his Instagram post to help keep married life smooth. In particular, his advice that "couples should not live with their parents for the first five years of marriage, but live separately" has created a huge debate on social media.
1. Prioritizing your spouse
The foundation of marriage is to prioritize each other. While fulfilling the family's expectations is important, Ajay emphasizes that one should not neglect the feelings of one's partner in the name of fulfilling them. To maintain a healthy relationship, couples should support each other in all their choices, actions, and decisions.
2. Building trust
Constant corrections can erode self-confidence. Instead of directing your spouse, encourage and praise them. Creating a safe, emotional space builds trust in the relationship. This is a key pillar of a strong marriage.
3. Love is the priority.
Responsibilities, customs, social rituals, etc. are important in marriage. But, according to Pandey, love is more important than such rituals. No matter how busy their daily lives are, couples should maintain and protect the emotional closeness between them.
4. Freedom of choice
For many here, “freedom becomes permission,” says Ajay. After marriage, women are under a lot of pressure to change their habits, their bodies, their schedules, everything. At such times, they need to be given the freedom to maintain their personal choices without criticizing or blaming each other.
5. Private time increases intimacy
One of the most beautiful lines that Pandey says is, “When doors close, hearts open.”
That is, private time allows for open, genuine conversation, laughter, and intimacy between couples. It is in this environment, free from fear and judgment, that love deepens and grows stronger.
6. The need for personal space
Even if you live in the same house, you both need some personal space. Personal time, personal preferences, and personal space reduce suffocation and make your relationship healthier. Excessive ownership, family interference, and closeness can disrupt the natural peace of a relationship.
7. Living independently increases understanding.
Pandey concludes his point by saying that living alone for at least a few years will help build true understanding between couples.
That is, “Can we skip dinner and order pizza? We can eat snacks in bed and laugh. There are no rules, no restrictions, it will feel like it’s just us.”
He suggests that a free life, free from parental advice and family restrictions, represents the unique world of couples.
Joint families are a normal part of the Indian family system. So, while the ideas shared by Pandey may not necessarily apply to everyone, these times emphasize the need to prioritize emotional security, intimacy, and understanding between couples. The reality is that sometimes living alone can be a key foundation for strengthening a relationship.
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